by Kevin Pasquino

A month of super-sized anniversary issues from DC has brought a mixed bag of results.

Wonder Woman #600 has managed to get the most coverage from the mainstream media because of her 1990-esque Animal Man / Starman / Superboy inspired jacket-wearing image makeover.  A picture (and a costume change) is worth a thousand words and everyone seemed to be falling over themselves to give an opinion of the new outfit.

But before reading the main story that reveals the changes for the character, there is a plethora of tales by George Perez, Gail Simone and Amanda Conner (who wrote and drew my favorite story in the whole issue because it captured both the majesty and naiveté of Wonder Woman as she shares an adventure with Power Girl) as well as other creators who focus on the now Classic Coke version of the Amazon.

There are also pin-ups by Greg Horn, Adam Hughes, Phil Jiminez and a bunch of other artists.

All of this plus an introduction by Lynda Carter, who played Wonder Woman more than 30 years ago on television – it even includes an old, grainy photo of Carter in her TV costume.

And after reading the introduction, flipping past innumerable pin-ups and reading four different stories about the out-going Amazon, the spectacular display of nostalgia only serves to bury the lead and actually diminish the issue’s main event.

J. Michael Straczynski has been given the Herculean (okay, the “Amazonian”) task of rebooting an iconic character who many feel has been stagnant for too many years.  Gone is Paradise Island, her mother and most of the other Amazons. Wonder Woman, much like the new Doctor Who, is now alone and starting anew with only modest nods to the lackluster but weighty continuity of almost seventy years.

It’s understandable that the classic but outdated bathing suit costume had to be turfed, but there is more than a little bit of irony in the fact that the pin-ups in the book make the old outfit look so damn good.  Artist Don Kramer does an adequate job of trying to depict the heroine’s new Jim Lee-created costume design – although it is strange that the first splash page in the story is a view of Wonder Woman’s derriere and the second splash page has her looking away from the reader.  It’s not until the very end of the issue, and not in the actual story itself, that we get a proper look at the new costume.

(Oh, and could someone please explain to DC how to do magazine layout properly: the two page “Behind the Scenes: The New Costume” article is buried behind the annoying sneak preview of Action Comics #890 that has overstayed its welcome through most of this month’s DC books.  The preview acts as a jarring disconnect in the book and it could have been prevented with a tiny bit of editorial common sense.  It’s really simple: if there’s an interview with the creators of a story, put it next to the story!  Don’t put it after a five page in-house advertisement.)

It will be interesting to see if JMS’s intention is to make Wonder Woman less of a classic princess and more of a modern day warrior.  I suspect that all of this is with an eye on a future movie and will act as a way of testing just how far an iconic character can be re-shaped for a big budget audience without completely destroying what made her interesting.  All of the publicity generated by the new costume has people talking and taking notice.  But it’s unfortunate that any reader who hops on-board has to wade through a handful of stories that look at the character through a nostalgic rear view mirror and then only gets a ten page tease of what’s to come.

Superman #700

JMS has also been tasked with taking Superman to new heights, but for some strange reason he’s going to this by keeping him on the ground.

As in the Wonder Woman issue, the main story is the final one in the book and first we have to make our way through two minor adventures.

The first story, written by James Robinson, wraps up the “New Krypton” storyline that managed to pollute the Superman books for the past year: it was the forgettable saga that had DC’s most famous hero jettisoned from the book that carries his name as well as his other regular titles in order to focus on Mon-El, The Guardian and Flamebird & Nightwing.

(And let’s be clear on this marketing blunder: not having Superman star in a book called Superman is like advertising a sexy action movie starring Megan Fox when in fact the main character is Joan Rivers.  Even if the Wonder Woman costume turns out to be a misfire, it still won’t be as ill-conceived as the “New Krypton” storyline.)

In Robinson’s story, Superman is finally re-united with Lois Lane, he knocks out the Parasite, and Superman and Lois share a passionate kiss (and, as an aside, I hope Parasite is incredibly unconscious and there are no security cameras in the warehouse because, if not, I can’t help but think someone would say, “Hey, why is Lois Lane snogging Superman when she’s married to Clark Kent?… Oh, damn, I get it!  Hey guys, look what I just figured out!”)

Lois and Clark then kiss and snuggle some more, she calls Clark “Baby” a couple of times and then she says, “Promise me you’ll never leave me like that again.”  He tells her he can’t make that promise because, well, he’s Superman and sometimes duty calls.  And he can’t make that promise because 27 pages later he leaves her again.  It’s almost like the “New Krypton” non-saga never happened.  And that ain’t necessarily a bad way of looking at it.

The second story in the book is by Dan Jurgens and it’s kind of a nostalgic throw-away little nothing that has Superman meet up with a young Dick Grayson.  The story is somewhat charming but has no urgency or importance.

The book’s final story is the JMS main event and the central part of the tale has a woman slap Superman (and please take a look at the key panel and try to figure out how such an awkwardly drawn slap gets approved by an editor — the way it’s drawn, it’s impossible for her to have slapped Superman unless she hit him from above his head, which is a weird way to slap anyone) and she then curses the superhero for not being on Earth to save her terminally ill husband.

Superman doesn’t respond to the slap by explaining that it’s impossible for him to help everyone, or that he was busy trying to save the planet and the entire human race, or that sometimes bad things happen to good people.  Instead, the Man of Steel gets all depressed and decides to go for a long walk.  For the foreseeable future he will journey across America and, in a bit of mainstream media pandering, maybe even visit your home town!!

When I finished the story, I couldn’t help but think: Wow, is Lois Lane ever going to be pissed off.  He just got back from New Krypton and now he’s literally walking away from her.  What a jerk.

I hope that this storyline unfolds on some level other than “Superman discovers himself by discovering America” because if I was given a choice between a cosmic Superman (a la Grant Morrison’s award-winning All-Star Superman and Geoff Johns’ Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes) or a sad-sack Superman re-creating the dramatic role of the dog from “The Littlest Hobo” as he wanders from town-to-town, I’d much rather spend time with the cosmic superhero from Krypton than the depressed guy who’s wondering why that crying woman is so angry at him.

Batman #700

Speaking of Grant Morrison, he’s responsible for the whole story in Batman #700 and except for the jarring changes in the art quality (more Frank Quitely would have been a good thing) the issue beautifully illustrates why Batman is such an enduring character.

The story, taking place yesterday, today and in a bunch of tomorrows, has multiple Batmen (Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne and others) solving a time-travelling mystery.  The story continues Morrison’s on-going mission to make all of the stories from Batman’s long publishing history part of the current continuity.  Sometimes Morrison succeeds in his attempt (“The Black Glove” storyline, for instance) and other times it falls somewhat flat (the most recent issue of The Return of Bruce Wayne and its pirate story seemed rather pointless), but at the very least Morrison challenges himself and his readers to embrace the past rather than shove it into a closet like an embarrassing, drooling old uncle.  

More than any other writer currently doing mainstream comics, Morrison conveys a tremendous sense of fun and enthusiasm in his work.  Writers such as JMS want to bring heroes down to earth (quite literally in Superman’s case) and make them more accessible and approachable for readers.  Morrison goes the other way: his Batman is a SUPER hero who has fabulous weird adventures with wild, crazy villains.  There is an undeniable sense of wonder and amazement with Morrison.  And it is because of Morrison’s talent that Batman currently soars higher than Superman.

So, three giant-sized anniversary issues: the Wonder Woman issue makes me curious about the character’s future; the Superman issue has me concerned that he is just going to mope his way across America; and the Batman issue makes me wish that Grant Morrison had written the other two.